Slideshow image

Let’s cut to it.

This isn’t surface talk.
This isn’t a “How’s your marriage?” nod over coffee.
This is heart-surgery.

Because buried under the daily routines, the silent disappointments, and the growing distance in so many marriages—is a question that’s barely been asked.

“How can I serve you today?”

Not muttered. Not mumbled.
Not tossed out to clear your conscience.
I mean look-them-in-the-eyes, Spirit-led, love-fueled intentionality.

“How can I serve you today?”

And for most couples? That question never even gets a chance to breathe.

Why?

Because it costs.

It costs your comfort.
It confronts your pride.
It exposes your habits.
It threatens your self-preservation.

But if you want a marriage that’s more than a survival agreement—if you want something holy, something that pulses with heaven’s heartbeat—this question is the door.

And behind it is the kind of connection, joy, and wholeness you thought only existed in other people’s highlight reels.

What If You Asked First?

Some of you are married to someone who’s grown quiet—not because they’ve stopped needing you, but because they’ve stopped expecting you to see them.

They carry things you’ve stopped asking about.
They ache in places you haven’t touched in months.
They serve silently, hoping one day you’ll notice—but bracing for the disappointment if you don’t.

So what if you asked first?

What if today, instead of guarding your schedule, your mood, your time—you let the Spirit nudge your heart, and you simply said:

“How can I serve you today—not out of duty, but out of love?”

No strings. No scoreboard.
Just Jesus-style, foot-washing, cross-carrying love.

You Can’t Wait for a Fire to Grab a Hose

Too many couples only change when the house is already burning.

We wake up when someone threatens to walk away.
We adjust when the damage is undeniable.
We listen only when the silence becomes deafening.

But by then, we’re treating something holy like it’s a crisis room.

Don’t wait for an explosion to rediscover humility.

Ask the question now—before it’s too late.
Before the numbness settles.
Before the bitterness hardens.
Before your marriage becomes a memory of what could’ve been.

This Isn’t Weak. This Is Warfare.

This kind of serving? It’s not soft.
It’s not weak.
It’s not about being a doormat.

It’s warfare.

Because every time you lay down your pride instead of proving your point—hell loses ground.
Every time you serve instead of self-protect—your home becomes an altar.
Every time you ask that question with a sincere heart—you become a mirror of Christ to the person He entrusted you to love.

The world doesn’t need more power couples.
It needs more serving couples.
More praying couples.
More Jesus-loving, ego-killing, Spirit-filled couples who care more about obedience than appearances.

For the One Afraid to Ask

Maybe you’re thinking:

“If I serve like that, what if they never change?”
“What if I give and give and get nothing back?”

But that’s not the voice of love. That’s the voice of fear. And fear has no place in Gospel-centered love.

Jesus didn’t wait for us to deserve Him before He gave Himself away.
He went first.
He served first.
He loved first—knowing we’d fail, wander, resist.

So serve—even when it’s not returned.
Love—even when it feels one-sided.
Because grace is never wasted.

Ask the Question. Start the Revival.

So here it is—raw and real:

Go look them in the eyes and ask,
“How can I serve you today?”

Let it feel awkward. Let it cost something.
Let it break the cycle.
Let it resurrect what routine buried.
Let it be the first domino in a chain of holy transformation.

Because when a marriage becomes a place where two people kneel before they speak—where both serve before they’re asked—that’s not just a healthy marriage.
That’s a revival in the making.

3 Questions to Pray Through This Week:

  1. Where have I made my marriage more about my comfort than God’s calling?

  2. What practical way can I serve my spouse before they ask?

  3. What fear has been holding me back from loving more deeply, more intentionally?

Marriage doesn’t thrive on autopilot. It flourishes in surrender.
So ask the question.
Start the healing.
And give God something to breathe on.

Because when you serve like Jesus, you love like heaven.
And that changes everything.